Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
