How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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