Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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