i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
