The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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