I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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