Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
