...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
