went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
