worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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