You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize