how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
