I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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