Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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