Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
