I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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