now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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