dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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