YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
