Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They are going to name an STD after you.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
