Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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