Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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