Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
