He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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