She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish life had little blips of pornography
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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