i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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