Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I deserve this hangover.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
