there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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