All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
