have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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