Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
