Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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