I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
