Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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