Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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