ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
