you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
