Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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