So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
