So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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