i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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