Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
They took my balls.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
