There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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