i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
