I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just forgot I was standing up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
