So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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