1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you still have your period?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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