i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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