Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
