Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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