i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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