Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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