she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
