Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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