it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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