***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
