apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
