i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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