Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
