Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
