Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
