We won't sleep together?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
